


I was a SBFG

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-07
Updated: 2006-02-28
Packaged: 2019-01-19 06:31:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12404934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: My name is Marlene Mckinnon and I was an SBFG. I was part of the hardest to get into clubs in Hogwarts. The Sirius Black Fan Club. In fact I was one of it's founders, till I figured out how many people were getting hurt by it-- by me. This is my story, my last editorial before I turn over ...





	1. My Last Editorial

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

  
Author's notes: 1  


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I Was A SBFG. 

Uncensored, Unedited, Straight from My Quill

Dear Students of Hogwarts, you all know who I am, and likewise I know many of you but today my editorial piece will be a personal story, a memoir about my involvement with a well known club that I’m sure you’ve all heard of. The SBFC. For those of you lucky enough to have escaped its clutches and the few of you blessed enough to have not even heard of it, it’s the fan club for the ever popular Sirius Black.

 

I remember when the club was originated in my first year of Hogwarts, it had been his first year as well. I remember seeing him walk on the train as I wished my mother goodbye for the first time to embark on what I’d hoped would be a grand adventure as most first years do. He had walked on the train alone and I saw him again as he passed my compartment and I knew at that instant as many naÃ¯ve girls do the moment they see Mr. Black is that they were destined to be together. 

 

I had already been planning my wedding decorations when a small blond headed girl stepped into my compartment. She was a petite little thing, thin with curly blond hair and I could see a pair of sixth grade girls glare at her with envious looks walk by behind her. She was a Queen in nature and name, Catherine.  
I quickly befriended the girl not comprehending the amount I would have to give up for this friendship in the future. All I knew was that I was glad to know someone else on the train. It took me five years to realize just how much that train ride had cost me. If I hadn’t opened that door… If I had claimed that seat was taken…. Well no point crying over spilled milk, right?

 

The next few days were a blast. We were both in Ravenclaw, so thus in all the same classes. Our only regret was the fact that Sirius Black was in Gryffindor. One day when we were chatting and doing homework Catherine mentioned muggle fan clubs, and we began to joke about things we were fans of when we reached Sirius Black, and thus the club was born. 

 

Yes, Hogwarts, I was one of the original founders of the SBFC and there is nothing I would like to do more than put a stop to it. I have for you a story. The story of my fourth, fifth, and sixth years at Hogwarts, a story for you to read, and hopefully learn from, and a story I beg you not hate me for. It’s a story not meant for those who can’t stomach blood, and backstabbing and fear. It’s not a happy story. Not most of it, anyway, but it’s a story I need to tell and one I fear many need to hear. And now It begins.

 

****

I was an SBFG.


	2. A Past Encounter

“Marilyn is evil. Literally. Ok, so evil might be a little harsh, but guess who her new tutor is? No really, guess. Of course it’s not Frank Longbottom, come on he may have washboard abs, but he’s not half as decent as the real person. Oh don’t you roll your eyes at me!” 

 Grace just shook her head and continued walking down the hallway. 

“Come on just guess! It’s easy. Really. Oh fine. Sirius. She’s got Sirius as a tutor. When I tried the ‘let’s fail a subject and hopefully get a hot tutor’ last year Professor McGonagall asked me if it was my time of the month! And she asked it loudly. It took me weeks to repair my reputation after that. Weeks I tell you and in one stinking day Marilyn manages to get closer to Sirius, the HOTTEST GUY IN SCHOOL because she is actually failing a class. So by being genuinely stupid, she gets the guy, it’s not fair Grace!” 

“Not fair, I mean I’ve been trying to attract Sirius since I was in first year! First year! And she has him tutoring her after only a few days as a Date-qualifier in the SBFC. I mean I helped invent it, and there she is just breezing through disregarding the system. I think I’ll talk to Catherine. Maybe I can get her kicked out. She doesn’t deserve Sirius. Let alone to be in the SBFC.” 

“Besides she seems like the kind of girl who would want to be in a relationship, and we all decided, and pledged that no member has the right to be Sirius’s girlfriend for more than two weeks because it deprives others of his mesmerizing company. I mean sure most people would assume that it was Sirius who did the dumping but oh no, Date-qualifiers have to swear on their honor, on their life, and on their hair that they will not date Sirius Orion Black for over two weeks every year. The only one who didn’t have to take that oath was Catherine and that’s because she’s to perfect, I mean she really did create the SBFC when you think back to its first days, so why should she have to you. You know what I mean?” 

Grace just shook her head and laughed. 

“You know who you sound like right?” I just stopped and looked at her puzzled. What does she mean, who do I sound like?

“Noo..”

“Like an obsessed over protective wanna-be girlfriend. I’ve told you before, and I’m getting sick of telling you over and over again. Sirius Black is never going to date you, or anyone else in your queer club. He’s not stupid.” 

“Oh I know that, I stole the letter with his OWL scores last year. He got all Os. He’s a genius.” Clara cut in.

Grace just rolled her eyes.

“Sure.. Whatever you say, but that’s my point. He’s smart. He’s not going to fall for any of the SBFC’s bull.” Clara bit her lip as she thought about it, he had seemed a little resistant to the idea lately... Maybe Grace was right, but she couldn’t be right. I mean why wouldn’t he want a fan club? It just didn’t make sense. 

“Why do you think he’s against it?” Clara opened the door for Grace and they walked into their charms class, with Gryffindor. 

“Cause it’s stupid. Cause it’s annoying. Cause no one wants hordes of people drooling over them when they’re not looking. Cause believe it or not, it’s not cool when people continually sneak in your dorm stealing your clothing and framing them in various corridors.” 

Clara blushed the annual framing of a pair of boxers hadn’t been her idea, but she had secretly supported it in her mind and gone out of her way to walk down the corridor where they were hanging.

Clara was so caught up in her memories that she was surprised when a black haired boy sat next to her. 

“Err... Hey Clara? Mind if I sit here? Someone took my usual seat... And well the rest of the class is full…” Clara blinked and looked up at the tall looming figure of Sirius Black who was now sitting next to her. She mentally tried to slow her heart down because she had a feeling it was about to burst out of her chest, and well she wouldn’t want to ruin this perfect moment by dieing. That would just totally kill the mood. Was there a mood yet?

“Err Clara?” Clara smiled at him pleasantly even though inside she was screaming ‘YES!’ as loud as mentally possible.

“Sure. Go ahead.” She moved some of her stuff over to give him more room as he sat down.

Sirius sighed relieved before eyeing the girls behind him, whispering nervously. Clara cast a brief glance backward and scowled as she noticed that it was some of the Gossipers who reported back to Catherine telling her what’s going on with Sirius and who he’s been with. Sirius edged a little closer to her and whispered softly in her ear. 

Well, ok, not quite, but Clara wished he would. Instead he just took out a piece of paper and scribbled a note on it before tossing it to James Potter who was sitting in front of them

James was definitely hot, and had earned a nine out of ten in Clara’s mind. He had messy black hair and hazel-brown eyes that were always sparking with mischief. Next to him was Remus Lupin, another nine, he had sandy hair that hung in his eyes and bright blue eyes. He was also the thinnest, though he seemed to be constructed completely out of muscle.

Next to Remus was Peter, who was shorter than the rest of them. He wasn’t ugly or anything, but he just didn’t shine as brightly when he hung around the other guys. In fact if he didn’t hang out with them he’d probably be able to get a date pretty easily. Over all he was a five on Clara’s list. He wasn’t hot or ugly. He was just there being Peter. He was however the nicest of the group. Since Peter wasn’t as smart as the other three he was often easier to approach and talk too. He was just funny.

Remus caught Clara looking at him and smiled kindly. She blushed but smiled back none the less. Though secretly she was hoping he wasn’t getting the wrong idea. After all she was saving herself for Sirius. 

Clara turned her head and gave a small smile towards Professor Flitwick who was now entering the room. Clara was exceedingly good at Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, not that she would ever admit the later to anyone.

“Good morning class! Today we will be reviewing cheering charms before we begin our work on more advance charms to change another’s emotional state of mind. Would someone like to demonstrate a cheering charm for the class?” 

Flitwick stepped on top of his large stack of books to ensure that everyone in the class could indeed see him. He pressed his hands together as he surveyed them all.

“Why yes, Miss Evans, if I do remember correctly you could perform an excellent Cheering charm! And who would like to be Miss Evans partner?” 

Everyone laughed as James’s hand automatically shot into the air. Lily just rolled her eyes at him while Flitwick chuckled lightly. 

Clara didn’t understand Lily, James was so funny, and hot, and granted he was no Sirius Black but he was definitely up there. In fact many people believed they were equal until James fell in love with Lily and therefore took himself off the market. Clara could name hundreds of girls who would pay to receive one of the looks Lily got from him on a daily basis. Honestly, she was a waste of a perfectly wonderful guy.

“Anyone besides Mr. Potter?” Flitwick asked with an odd twinkle in his eye as if he was getting some amusement from delaying his choice.

Clara actually played with the idea of volunteering, but she knew she couldn’t it was one of the rules of the SBFC. It was used to enforce fairness, because then no one else could lessen anyone else’s chances with Sirius through intelligence. The only way you could volunteer was if your house was in last place by a hundred points or more, in which drastic measures must be taken to ensure that you are ahead of Slytherin. 

No one could stand losing against them. Not after what happened last year. Last year the Marauder’s had decided to play a little prank on the wonderful Slytherins and had gotten caught after they had finished it and though no one really blamed them, because it was quite funny to see everyone’s hair turn red and have them all sing Gryffindor chants, they had lost the Gryffindors the house cup and no one wanted to allow the Slytherins the chance to gloat all over again. 

Clara nodded off a bit as Lily performed the spell with James. It was an easy one, definitely review and Clara could see no reason to pay attention especially when there was a rather large very alive very sexy male sitting next to her, one she’d been dreaming about practically her whole life. Clara just sighed before turning her head to her paper and began to doodle.

It was a simple stupid little image of a cat chewing a human headed slug resembling Professor Slughorn (who else). Clara was so immersed in her doodle that she jumped, and let out a small gasp when she heard someone snickering next to her. Clara looked up startled to see the very one and only Sirius Black looking at her. Really looking at her, and before she could so much as say ‘pardon?’ he started to laugh and not one of the those stupid creepy goose bump inducing laughs where you just want to run away from the person laughing. No Sirius had a good laugh like everything else about him; it was one of those from the stomach kind, like little kids imagine Santa Clause would have.

Clara just raised an eyebrow at him (seductively she hoped) and waited for him to stop laughing. It felt like ages before he did though it was probably a couple of seconds, though Clara was totally content to sit there and just watch his perfect hair bounce up and down on his shoulders. 

“You know I always thought you were stupid.” Sirius said shaking his head a bit before turning back to watch as James tortured Lily with his cheering charm trying to make the girl go out with him. All the while Clara just turned her head away from Sirius and frowned. 

He’d thought she was stupid?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That little incident in Charms was the first and last time I spoke to Sirius all of sixth year. I suppose one would say I was avoiding him after that—and I probably was to some existent, but more importantly I was avoiding myself. Sixth year was an important year for me. I learned a lot about what I wanted to do with my life, who I wanted to be, and though I still believed I loved Sirius, I had just about given up all of my dreams of being with him. That was until an accident and a wayward prank led me back to him the first week of seventh year and that, my friends is what brought me to this story. I gave you a glimpse at who I was—and hopefully you’ll see how I’ve improved and judge me on my improvement, my future, my present even. Just please don’t judge me on what I once was, because I’m not the same girl who played stupid to get a hot tutor, or who complained and whined when she didn’t get her way. I’m not the same person, I’ve changed, and you will soon change too. We all change in life, constantly changing.

 

 


End file.
